While I don’t discount the potential harm of overuse of technology, I don’t imagine in using the term “addiction.” I agree with pediatrician and director of the Boston Children's Digital Wellness Lab, Dr. Michael Rich, the writer of The Mediatrician's Guide: A Joyful Approach to Raising Healthy, Smart, and Kind Children in a World Full of Screens He wrote: “The addiction label is unhelpful when it distorts our response and does not provide the young person with the tools to correct a pattern of media use that has gone wrong.” On ConnectSafely “Are we doing technology right?” PodcastHe said: “The way to deal with addiction is abstinence.” We cannot do without the Internet. We need this. This is a crucial resource within the twenty first century.” A better term would be “problematic media use behavior,” which, Rich wrote, “is immersive in its interactivity and distracts and calms children and adolescents with subclinical or undertreated emotional and behavioral problems. “
Of course, not all children who spend too much time online or on the phone have serious emotional and behavioral problems. There are many good reasons to be online, and it's not uncommon for people to spend a little too much time doing good things. From reading to exercising to spending time with friends. But if for some reason it becomes a problem, perhaps it's time for the adults in the child or teen's life to give them some guidance.
It's also important to remember that not all screen time is created equal. Some uses, such as schoolwork, interacting with teammates, or looking up health information, may be necessary. But other activities could be problematic.
Start with a conversation
How you respond depends on many factors, including how much time they spend online, whether it interferes with school, homework, relationships or other activities, and the child or teen's personality. As Rich pointed out, abstinence is rarely the appropriate remedy, so don't snatch the phone out of their hands. Talk to them about their use. It doesn't have to be a fight. In fact, your teen or child might well agree with you and welcome help getting off the phone. It's not uncommon for teenagers to admit that they spend too much time on their technology
The conversation you have with your teen should be a conversation, not a lecture. Start by asking them how they use technology and what they like and dislike about it. Ask them in a non-threatening and supportive way if they sometimes wish they could spend less time on their devices or do other things instead. They could fight back. If so, that's fine. You can still chat about how they spend their time and suggest activities that don't involve screens, including things that kids might be really excited about.
The list of off-screen activities is endless, including reading, playing games, walking and hiking, swimming and other sports, or things like eating out, family vacations or just spending time with friends.
Set boundaries
Sometimes you need to set clear boundaries, especially if your child or teen has impulse control issues or has developed bad habits that are difficult for them to break. Ideally, your teen should be able to self-enforce any boundaries you agree or impose, but sometimes they need a little help. This may include a personal reminder from a family member or friend, or using a technology tool to remind them to take a break. Both iOS and Android have time management tools that your child can activate to remind them to take a break or to prevent them from using certain apps at certain times or after a certain amount of time. There are also tools parents can use to enforce these breaks. However, I recommend using these only when necessary. It is best if the young person embraces the idea of having memories rather than having them forced upon them.
Sometimes it is necessary to talk to them about the negative effects of too much screen time or the negative consequences of not enough exercise, sleep, or time spent on other activities. For some children, offering a reward, such as a fun activity or outing, is an incentive to stay away from their devices.
Adult behavior matters
Don’t forget about your own media usage. When children see you on your phone or computer or even watch TV, they receive a message that is stronger than anything you can tell them. I'm not suggesting you avoid all media use, but show them that you're aware of not overusing your device or using it at times when you should be interacting with others.
If your children spend a lot of time around other adults, perhaps grandparents, caregivers, or their friends' parents, it might be a good idea to set some expectations about how they should behave around your children and what rules you want them to enforce .
Some families have specific times or entire days when all devices are turned off. Filmmaker Tiffany Shlain has long promoted what she calls “Technology Shabbats,” also referred to as “digital Sabbaths.” Shlain, a Jew, wrote, “Every Friday evening we all unplug and don't turn it back on until Saturday evening.” Unplugging for a day slows down time and makes me feel more present with my family. Not only do I appreciate this glorious time with them, nevertheless it also gave me a complete latest appreciation for technology. On Saturday evening we are able to hardly wait to get back to the socket.” Of course it doesn’t necessarily need to be on the Jewish Sabbath. It generally is a full day Sunday or every other day and it doesn’t necessarily need to be a full day or a weekly event. It generally is a single evening or a day when the family is on vacation.
image credit : www.mercurynews.com