Dear readers: Before I leave at the top of the month, I'm going through my files and choosing a few of my favorite “vintage” columns from years past. The following questions and answers are each from 2020.
I’m not sociable and I don't care about my appearance.
I never wear makeup. I'm the style of woman who wears jeans and a t-shirt. I'm also slightly chubby. I don't fit the everyday “girly” stereotypes.
Given all this, why do men consistently attempt to hit on me and hit on me?
I grew up with two older brothers and have had platonic male friendships of all types throughout my life.
I speak about my wonderful life and my relationship with my husband, and that doesn't appear to stop these men from flirting with me.
What am I doing unsuitable? And why me?
Dear Sick Person: You are doing nothing unsuitable. Your crime is attempting to move through the world and mind your individual business.
Women who’re “girly” and wear makeup and female clothing don't need to be hit on. Women who wear jeans and t-shirts don't need to be hit on. Women who jog, ride their bikes, walk the dog, or seek advice from their friends don't need to be hit on.
I do have one reservation, though. I grew up in chilly New England, where people tend to not seek advice from people they don't already know. But I spend a part of the yr in New Orleans, a city where individuals are so welcoming and rattling friendly it's almost off-putting.
And yes, I often have strange men call out to me and make comments about my hair or clothes or tell me to “smile more,” rudely invading my comfort zone. But sometimes they only say “hi!” It could be difficult to inform the difference between someone who’s being friendly and someone who’s attempting to “hi” you.
In my opinion, you must never get to the purpose of gushing about your wonderful husband in a conversation with a stranger. Men who randomly hit on women are playing an influence game. They don't care if you happen to're married.
Dear Amy: This is a “trivial” topic that has nevertheless occupied me for years.
My parents have the unique Trivial Pursuit game from 1983.
At various gatherings, my mother pulls out this relic and enthusiastically tries to entice us into old game of “general knowledge.”
I believe she should upgrade her game, at the least to at least one from this century. We go around in circles arguing in regards to the obviously outdated questions that oldsters insist on asking within the colloquial language that was the appropriate answer in 1983.
Suggestions to update or at the least omit the obviously incorrect answers fall on deaf ears.
Their childish behavior and refusal to post updates has annoyed me a lot that I simply refuse to participate.
We used to benefit from the family camaraderie, but now it seems ridiculous to me since most of those issues are not any longer relevant.
Any suggestions?
Dear JC: The childish behavior in your loved ones can have been passed on to the following generation. You sulk.
Your parents are entrenched on this particular tradition. They would really like to relive their time together. I suggest you make a greater effort to laugh about it, in a good-natured way, and file it within the category of bad “dad jokes,” your Aunt Marjory's moldy Jell-O salad, and other groaning memories of family traditions that appear absurd, silly, or pointless.
I assure you, if you happen to don't laugh about it now, you'll regret it later. One day (hopefully within the distant future), you and your siblings will undergo your parents' things. You'll pull out this worn-out relic and fight over who gets to maintain it.
Dear readers: In July, R. Eric Thomas will launch a brand new advice column called “Asking Eric.” You might help him start by sending your inquiries to eric@askingeric.com.
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