DEAR MRS MANNERS: My son married his partner of ten years in a marriage at an expensive resort within the Dominican Republic with about 40 people, most of them from our family.
Two months later, the couple separated and are planning a divorce.
Should they return gifts? And should they apologize to guests—especially those that attended each wedding receptions?
Many of the guests on the reception were our friends, colleagues and relatives they usually didn’t know the couple well. My brother “joked” that he wanted his $3,000 back for the trip.
DEAR READER: The obligation to return wedding gifts generally only applies to canceled weddings and never divorces, although that timeframe feels similar.
But those that voluntarily went to the marriage at this destination knew what they were stepping into – and doubtless still enjoyed the holiday, even when it was somewhat forced upon them.
There is not any need for apologies. Your brother and the opposite guests must know that nobody suffers from the irony and costs greater than the couple – except perhaps you.
DEAR MRS MANNERS: I actually have two amazing girls who’re 4 years and 18 months old. Most of the time they’re really good eaters after we are at home or at a restaurant.
However, I actually have noticed that they’re more picky about food after we are at Grandma and Grandpa's – a lot in order that I actually have to feed them a second dinner at home.
Should I start bringing foods that I do know they’ll eat, just in case? I don't wish to hurt anyone's feelings, but I also want my kids to eat well at other people's houses. I do know the menu upfront, nevertheless it's so hard to predict when my kids will object to certain foods.
DEAR READER: That's why you shouldn't encourage this.
Children's tastes are continuously changing. Who's to say that they won't soon develop a taste for Grandma's Kreplach or Dad's liverwurst sandwich?
If you want to give them a number of second meals while they're young, Miss Manners recommends you do this. But as they become old, they could begin to weigh up the relative advantages of trying something recent versus going hungry.
They may never like offal, however the lesson of being polite and gratefully accepting the offer – or politely declining – is much more essential.
For example, if I send an email to 6 people, my friend's “reply all” message will probably be either irrelevant or of no interest to the opposite recipients of my original message.
DEAR READER: “I'm not sure if you knew, but you answered everything. I just didn't want you to accidentally tell everyone secrets that were only meant for me.”
image credit : www.mercurynews.com