Supporting a Grieving Loved One on Holidays and Special Occasions: Practical Suggestions from a Clinical Psychologist

The holidays, often viewed as a time of joy and togetherness, will also be probably the most difficult times for those grieving a loss.

Nearly 95% of people that have experienced loss report that they struggle with it at the very least one symptom of physical or mental stress. About 10% of them develop persistent grief disordera persistent and debilitating type of grief that doesn’t subside over time.

Often this grief is because of the death of a loved one, but it could possibly even be brought on by the lack of a friendship, a divorce, and even the lack of a job.

Grief doesn't just affect mental health but additionally physical well-beingand it could possibly increase risk heart diseaseImmune deficiency and even death.

Holidays and special occasions, which frequently include family gatherings, traditions, and reminders of what’s missing, can increase this pain and leave those grieving feeling isolated and overwhelmed.

As a clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychiatry and Neurobehavioral Sciences When I work with cancer patients and their families, I realize how deeply grief affects people. I even have also personally experienced grief, each when my mother died suddenly on the age of 66 and when my father passed away after an extended illness on the age of 84.

These experiences, combined with my research, have led me to dedicate much of my profession to understanding grief and its effects and finding effective ways to support those battling it.

Grief vs. prolonged grief

Grief is a natural response to loss and includes emotional, cognitive, physical and social reactions. Common signs include sadness, withdrawal, difficulty concentrating, difficulty sleeping and physical symptoms similar to fatigue or pain.

Grief is a deeply personal matter, and although there isn’t a “right” option to grieve, most individuals undergo this process over time and find latest balance of their lives.

However, some people experience persistent grief disordera condition newly recognized within the gold standard manual of psychiatry Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth Editionin 2022.

This condition is characterised by intense longing, sadness, or preoccupation with the deceased that lasts 12 months or longer and significantly impairs on a regular basis functions. People affected by this disorder often feel disconnected from life and unable to search out joy or meaning.

Grief can have profound effects on the brain.

In contrast to non-pathological grief, persistent grief disorder is related to chronic activation of grief Brain stress response systemespecially in areas like that Amygdala. The amygdala is a small, almond-shaped collection of neurons within the brain that plays a key role in processing emotions, particularly fear, stress, and threat-related responses. A persistent grief disorder can also be related to it mental illnesses similar to depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD.

When supporting a friend or member of the family through their grief, it can be crucial to be alert for signs of ongoing grief disorder, as this requires targeted interventions. Research, including my ongoing studies into using Psilocybin-assisted therapy for the treatment of grief highlights the importance of innovative approaches to assist those stuck within the cycle of prolonged grief.

If you think that somebody you’re keen on is battling ongoing grief, encouraging them to hunt help and offering support along the best way could be life-changing. Resources can be found, from grief counseling to support groups. Organizations like the American Grief Foundation and native mental health services can provide further advice to assist a loved one get the treatment they need.

Dealing with our own grief on holidays and special occasions

Research supports several strategies for coping with grief, whether typical or prolonged:

  • Expressing emotions: Suppressing grief can worsen mental and physical health problems. Talk to trusted friends, journal, and join support groups could be therapeutic.

  • Participate in rituals: Personal or cultural rituals, similar to lighting a candle, visiting a gravesite, or making a memory book, help integrate the loss into one's life.

  • Create latest traditions to honor your loss: If you're grieving a death, consider incorporating the one you love's memory into the occasion by preparing their favorite dish, playing their favorite music, or hanging a decoration of their honor .

  • Seek skilled support: cognitive behavioral therapy or complicated grief therapy could be effective treatments with persistent grief disorder. Psychedelic-assisted therapy can also be proving to be a promising option in clinical research.

Simply being present is top-of-the-line ways to support a grieving loved one in the course of the holidays.
Alex Potemkin/E+ via Getty Images

Support someone of their grief

Holidays and special occasions similar to a birthday or Mother's Day could be particularly difficult for those grieving. Here are some practical tricks to support someone who’s grieving during these times:

  • Remember that grief just isn’t an issue to be solved, but a process to be supported.

  • Be. A standard fear is saying the incorrect thing to someone who’s grieving. Often it's not about saying the “perfect thing,” but fairly just showing up and listening without judgment.

  • Acknowledge the loss. Saying, “I've been thinking about (your loved one) and how much they meant to you” or “I want you to know that I've been thinking about you and the meaning of what you're experiencing right now” is more comforting than to avoid the subject.

  • Offer practical help. Grief could be debilitating and stressful. Assistance with tasks similar to cooking, shopping or childcare can relieve a number of the burden.

  • If you don't know what to say, it's okay to confess it. An easy “I don’t have the right words, but I’m here for you” can mean so much.

  • Avoid saying things like, “They're doing better” or “Everything happens for a reason.” Although the intentions behind them are sometimes good, these platitudes can even seem dismissive.

  • Focus on empathy and validation. Saying, “This must be so hard for you” or “Tell me more about what you're feeling” opens the door to meaningful conversations and helps create space for the complex emotions that grief brings.

  • Respect the boundaries of the one you love who’s grieving. Let them honor their feelings by going at their very own pace.

Coping with individuals who have suffered loss around holidays and special occasions could be complicated. But your presence and compassion in these moments can support their healing.

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