We came upon that her driveway is being renovated. The men we saw with our neighbor were in an unmarked truck and will not have been skilled concrete employees.
I told my husband that in the event that they began jackhammering into the driveway without calling the utility company to have the underground utilities marked, I’d call the utility company. My husband said I wasn't allowed to do this. He insists that I counsel nobody and let the neighbor face the implications of what might occur.
My husband said I used to be too curious. I said I wasn't curious, just apprehensive. If they hit a gas line, it could impact many homes within the neighborhood. So am I being too curious or justifiably apprehensive?
Better paved: Your concern is legitimate; The consequences of a collision with a utility line would likely impact greater than just your neighbor if employees don't exercise their due care. But waiting for the jackhammer to come back to life is just too late. The nationwide “Call Before You Dig” number is 811. The emphasis here is on “before.”
When you call the number or visit Call811.com, you will likely be connected to your state's 811 center website. However, you need to do that a number of business days before excavation begins in order that they’ve time to get out and mark buried utilities. It's higher that they call since the callers also have to know what sort of project it’s and where exactly on the property the employees plan to dig.
Reminding your neighbors and their employees upfront of the importance of doing this, even on small projects, may show you how to ward off your husband's “nosy” accusations (which, for my part, are unfounded). Besides, it's the law.
Dear Eric: At the Thanksgiving family gathering, my father-in-law's girlfriend was asked to pass me my drink. Instead of grasping the cup from the skin, she placed one finger on the within and one finger on the skin to lift it up—which made me cringe in disgust because I can be sharing her germs if I drank on that side.
This woman is only a horrible, disgusting person on the whole. She could probably be diagnosed as a narcissist. She is a hoarder, neglects her animals and is incredibly unpopular with all members of the family except my father-in-law. Honestly, she doesn't deserve any kindness.
So why didn't I confront her about defiling my cup? Why did I pretend not to note, casually take a sip that I knew she wouldn't touch, and never drink from that cup again?
If she is so blatantly rude to all of us at family gatherings regularly, why can't I find the words to say how disgusting that was and that she shouldn't hand someone a cup like that? Why did I decide to be polite quite than say what I felt inside?
Everyone was sitting or standing across the table when this happened, but I don’t know who saw it. Aside from the shame that I didn't rise up for myself, I'm also embarrassed that others might find me just as disgusting for acting like I didn't care that she did that. I wish I had the precise words at the precise time.
Dear human: I'm sorry that happened – yuck. And I'm sorry that it led to such a spiral.
Although I do know that you already know that I cannot inform you why you probably did this stuff, I wanted to reply to your letter because there appear to be two potentially conflicting aspects at play here and I hope you may untangle them.
You don't like your father-in-law's girlfriend, that's of course. But most of your letter was about what other people take into consideration your behavior – being kinder to your girlfriend than you desired to be, after which worrying that your loved ones thinks you're gross.
People almost never take into consideration us as much as we expect. No, scratch that. People never take into consideration us as much as we expect.
So it is advisable to discuss with a friend or counselor about what you would like from other people's approval and the way you may achieve it in other ways.
Ultimately, consent must come from inside. But in case your primary focus is ensuring everyone else likes what you do, your individual judgment will all the time come second. This results in the form of regret and self-flagellation described in your letter, and the cycle begins again. I hope you’ll work on this stuff.
And next time, possibly ask another person to pass you your drink.
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