He told me that where he comes from (West Africa), men don't cook and that men are expected to work, bring home the cash, give sex to their wives and the wives do all the things else.
I’m an American and grew up with the idea that men and ladies share in all household and life responsibilities.
This got here to me because I told him that I feel he should learn to cook and that it could actually be fun to cook along with your partner. He immediately dismissed it and said that it was unthinkable in his culture.
I like this guy, but I'm apprehensive that he's so entrenched in his traditions that he has no room for mine. He even said that once we get together, he assumes that I’ll do what’s traditional in his culture.
Should I walk away now or try to barter with him about how we could live together if all the things works out?
Dear traditions collide: This man told you who he’s and what he values. You told him the identical thing. Now is the time to have open conversations about whether you each consider there’s a likelihood.
Ask him directly about his willingness to be more open to a few of your cultural beliefs. Talk openly about values and traditions. Find out all the things about his expectations of a lady and judge whether you possibly can live with them.
You must remember that if he’s entrenched in his culture along with his family, there could also be no room in your family.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter dropped out of her first yr of faculty. She struggled academically in her first semester and decided to not return.
I fear for her future because I actually have all the time believed that a school degree is important for a stable and successful profession. I do know not everyone takes a conventional path, but and not using a plan or direction, I fear she is setting herself up for failure or difficulty.
She is totally unmotivated. She spends most of her time at home, scrolling on her phone or hanging out with friends. When I attempt to confer with her about what she desires to do next, she shuts me out or says she doesn't know.
I've encouraged her to attend a community college, if only to finish her general education credits while she figures out what she desires to do, but she seems uninterested.
I feel like I'm walking a effective line between supporting her and pushing too hard, but I can't sit idly by. How can I help her find direction and get back on her feet without making her feel like I'm being overbearing?
Dear, what's next?: Your daughter has to determine her life on her own.
You will help her understand her options, including a reality check about how much it costs to be independent and what most jobs pay.
Give her a schedule for on the lookout for work and contributing to household expenses. This ought to be a wake-up call to stop hiding.
Encourage them to find out about work and profession opportunities and their earning potential. It will take time, but she has to do the work herself.
You have to be patient now – and be clear about what you’ll and won't do for them in terms of pay.
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