Dear Eric: My ex-husband and I were on quite a financial foundation after we divorced. Our income was similar and we shared the assets almost in the center.
He was a lazy, selfish, philandering husband, but he’s an honest father.
The lack of this 200 pound of deadweight freed me to think about driving my profession ahead. My income has doubled while it has remained relatively stable. He doesn't know what I'm doing now; I do know his salary since it is public information.
Our child is happening college this autumn. We agreed to divorce that each one of our child's editions could be evenly divided between us.
I saved and have/could have enough for my half of the tutoring fees. However, the kid earned enough scholarships in order that I can easily pay one hundred pc of their remaining expenses. I think that even half of the reduced college editions might be a problem for my ex. (I don't know or need/ need to know -how he desired to pay his half if the kid had not received such a big merit.)
I actually have two options: Pay my half and charge every thing in a fund for the kid's graduate school or for the primary home or the introduction you would like in a fund. After all, I actually have extra because they got grants, so you need to profit in the long term, right? This also enables me to react to unexpected editions that would occur.
Or offer to cover a bigger proportion. This means less/no money that’s ultimately to alleviate the transition to maturity. But it should mean that my ex no loans (I assume?) To fulfill his obligation. To saddle the kid with a student loan just isn’t on the table.
Thoughts?
Dear division: Option A, I ask you!
First, not all public information is information to know. I’d know the content of your ex-husband (and the final financial state) as exactly within the category “Do not have to know. All angles are a bit of yours, but we can also exceed with kindness. If you keep an eye on your own wallets, it is for you and the separation is the healthiest.
Second, there will definitely be other editions in the future of your child. Unexpected costs are the name of the game in the 20s. It will be incredibly helpful to have a fund that makes it easier to travel through college and early adulthood.
Dear Eric: My sister -in -law doesn't seem to do my name properly.
I married for the first time at the age of 20, 1973 when they took pretty much just her husband's last name, and I did. I had a long teaching career in which I was known as “Mrs. Smith”.
My first husband died of cancer after 42 years of marriage. Four years later I found love again and married again.
To be honest, after he had known as a “Mrs. Smith” for all these years, it had become my identity. I had this name for twice as long as my girl's name. So I didn't change my name when I got married.
I have been married to my new husband for almost five years and continued to sign my name on every card, every return address, every document, as a “Mary Smith”.
My sister -in -law continues to appeal to me as “Mary Jones”. She has to know that this is not my name; I add my “Smith” name to the return address of each card that I send.
I should also say that you and I probably have different opinions about most things, including religion and politics. We also never discuss in family meetings and keep things superficial, but sympathetic when we are together.
Another birthday card was addressed to “Mary Jones”. How wonderful she remembers my birthday. How annoying that she appeals to someone I am not. (It is indeed the name of my husband's aunt.)
Do I continue to ignore what has become an irritant for me, or should I address it at some point?
Dear name games: Bring! It! High! (Imagine, I sing that as if I was an audience in a game show.)
It may be an oversight that it could be a deliberate minor, but either way it is not your name. “I noticed that you appealed to me as Mary Jones, but I didn't take [husband’s] Name. I am glad that you are so excited to welcome him in the family. However, you do not have to update your address book. Love is the same, no matter the name. “
It may feel like they break the unspoken rule in regards to the treatment of the differences between others with the congeniality, but this just isn’t an opinion. It is a fact. Your name is her name and she will learn it. In fact, she already did it years ago.
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