Dear Eric: I actually have a friend that I actually have known since childhood. Our relationship has at all times been platonic. Over the years we’ve gone separate paths, but have at all times been in touch.
I lived in a unique state than he had and defeated cancer. I actually have been back in my hometown for just a few years and have spent a variety of time doing things that friends do.
He had some blindness at times; His gaze is normal again after just a few hours. I asked him what his doctor said about it and his answer is: “You want me to make an MRI and I am a claustrophobic and don't do it.”
Eric, how do I respect this decision when it’s a life -threatening topic? He and I talked about it, nevertheless it at all times ends by changing the subject.
I do know I can't do anything. Your thoughts, please?
Dear friend: Respect has several definitions. You can respect his decision by recognizing them and staying on it without absolutely agreeing or occupied with it. Even if it doesn't feel that way, it’s possible you’ll already follow the most effective approach on this difficult situation.
If a mentally competent adult rejects medical care, there may be the one method to listen and validate his feelings. In fact, intermittent blindness is alarming and will indicate serious conditions. His earlier cancer experience could have traumatized, fearfully or just exhausted treatments.
Communication is the important thing to understanding what really happens – whether it’s medical fears, hopelessness or deeper problem of mental health which will require intervention.
If you haven't done it yet, it is best to ask for options corresponding to Open Mris or CT scans as an alternative of conventional MRIs. Through conversation, you may explore alternatives and understand your needs higher so as to offer several types of support. Will or needs someone who involves the doctor with him?
While the diagnoses of armchairs won’t be helpful for one in every of them, thoughtful questions on his current medical care, the comfort along with his doctors and the data he received could end in recent perspectives or options that he didn’t take into consideration.
If you’re employed to support him, please remember to handle yourself. This situation is undoubtedly scary and stressful for you. Take your time to process your personal emotions by contacting someone you trust.
Dear Eric: I actually have an exquisite relationship with my neighbor, “Jody”. We went to the church together and the Bible study, we went out for dinner, we exchanged recipes and dinner and prayed together. That's why my problem is so sensitive.
Jody has a mentally challenged son “Troy”, who lives independently and takes the bus out of his city every Friday to spend the weekend along with his mother. He is a really sweet boy who’s a terrific help for his mother, who has countless health problems.
Occasionally, when Jody has a foul day, she asked me to choose up Troy. This has happened six times up to now. It is a 30-mile tour from our neighborhood.
While I prefer to help Jody once I can, driving a variety of gas in my SUV consumes 30 miles. I do know that Jody shouldn’t be difficult for money, but my income is kind of limited (social security).
Can you suggest how I could address this problem to my good friend without causing a crack between us? I can't imagine any method to formulate it that will not put it off.
I don't want something to come back between us because she is an expensive woman and I might not hurt her for the world.
Better carpools: At the danger of an over -analysis, I ponder if there is part of them who believes that it shouldn’t be recognized to ask a friend's reimbursement. I humbly suggest that it shouldn’t be the case, and Jody couldn't think.
You would still spend your time and energy to do that from the kindness of your heart. It is sweet to let her friend know find out how to allow you to help her.
The words they wrote to me are perfect: “Jody, I'm glad to drive Troy, and it really makes sense that they trust me to help this way. The only thing is that gas is difficult for me to manage financially. Would you be willing to cover the costs of a tank (or which part of a tank is)?”
If you are feeling comfortable, you may share your concerns that this request could affect your friendship.
Imagine this: How would Jody feel if she knew that these trips generate a lot stress for you each financially and emotionally? Certainly she would wish to do what she will be able to do to alleviate it.
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