Dear Eric: Mike was my friend for greater than 50 years. We made our carpool to work together for nearly 15 years. Our bond became even closer when his 16-year-old son died of suicide after a fight with depression.
Mike seemed so strong during this tragedy, but I do know that he suffered intensive grief, and I did my best to be there for him.
I retired first and Mike about two years later. Unfortunately, shortly after his retirement, Mike developed an aggressive cancer, which he bravely fought for 3 or 4 months.
We saw one another and he remained optimistic during this time. However, when he received the unlucky diagnosis that the treatments didn’t work, he was withdrawn and didn’t need to see me, although we might occasionally have phone calls when he thought of it.
He had said: “I don't want you to see me that way. Remember me as I was.”
We spoke before his day. He thanked me that I used to be his friend for a big a part of his life and insisted that I didn't cry after I choked myself in the course of the conversation. It was painful, but I fought back for his will; I collapsed after we had offered our last farewell and promised to satisfy again on the massive one. He wanted a family service.
Mikes wishes left a hole in my heart. I lost my boyfriend and never felt that I did enough these last months or adequately said goodbye.
Mike's wife never warmed me up or my wife, and we didn't do anything together as couples. I called her about nine months after Mike's death and had a pleasing conversation. However, she has never reached and I actually have not tried to contact her again, although I wondered if I should.
What do you’re thinking that?
Dear friend: I'm so sorry for the lack of your friend Mike. I do know that the pain of his absence was difficult to navigate, especially after 50 years of friendship.
I hope you’ll be able to proceed to know that you will have to say goodbye, even when it wasn't the way in which you wanted it. Mike navigated so much prior to now few months and so they did a friendly and loving thing by respecting his space requests.
Her wish to achieve his wife again comes from a friendly place. It may very well be helpful for each of them to discuss Mike together, nevertheless it is difficult to say without long -term relationships.
Instead of a call, when you feel forced to satisfy again, attempt to send a letter and enter your number. This gives her the chance to reply if she believes that it should be helpful or just appreciate the gesture if she doesn't.
If you proceed to navigate grief, I hope that you simply consult with your family members and friends who knew him about Mike and her feelings for his death. Even if you will have no connection to his wife, you’ll be able to keep your memory alive with others.
Dear Eric: My 22-year-old son met a 36-year-old woman in Brazil on the Internet. He fell in love together with her and plans to go there for at the least three months this summer.
My husband and I are very concerned. He doesn't speak the language although he learns it. He has not traveled alone and there are advice for the trips to Brazil.
We are also anxious concerning the motifs of this woman. He sent her money. A friend warned that she was attempting to marry him to return to the United States.
He is grown up, but we’re very concerned and don't want him to go. What advice do you will have?
Rather distance: As someone who’s one of the crucial transforming experiences of my life that travels alone to Brazil, I’m sad concerning the situation of her son because there may be among the warning signs of romantic fraud and there are such a lot of higher, non-scam opportunities to be introduced into the country.
According to the Federal Trade Commission, there have been greater than 64,000 reported romantic fraud in 2023, which earned 1.14 billion US dollars. The FBI has a special website that’s specially dedicated to you. Visit fbi.gov or the Internet criminal criminal criticism center And see whether one among the common tactics with what they see within the case of their son.
There you may even find instructions on how you’ll be able to consult with your son about what he’s doing and the way he encourages him to think more critically about his actions. He shouldn’t be only in it.
Of course, long -distance love can and do. But those that connect with others who haven’t met, especially others who ask for money need to do far more prudence.
image credit : www.mercurynews.com