Dear Amy: I’m a middle-aged single woman and have recently began dating a person my age.
He is a extremely sweet, smart and respectful man. We have many common interests.
He recently invited me over to his house for the primary time and… it's pretty gross. Not only messy, but in addition very dirty and unhealthy – with food waste and dirty dishes and pots on the countertops.
I don't know what to inform him in regards to the state of his house. I actually never wish to spend time there. Up until then we had at all times gone out or come to my house, which is clean and quite nice – in the traditional sense. (I'm not a clean freak or anything.)
Should I tell him what I feel of his house and ask him to scrub it up before I come once again?
Dear convalescents: Your guy invited you to his house. Presumably this visit was planned and he did his best.
He is a mature one that lives on the earth. He makes decisions about how he desires to live. I'm unsure it will make sense to ask him to scrub his house.
You ought to be honest about where you must spend your time: “I don't feel comfortable in your house; It’s too chaotic for me to feel at home.”
I feel it's essential to grasp the fact of a future with someone who doesn't take excellent care of themselves and people around them.
I hope you proceed to enjoy his company, but don't kid yourself you can encourage him to live a special life.
You have experience in a protracted marriage. If the 2 of you find yourself living together, you’ll consistently be frustrated along with his poor life skills.
Dear Amy: Some of my relations will likely be having a small family reunion in just a few months in Paris, where my brother lives.
My brother's son and wife and their two young children will likely be flying from Istanbul to Paris, and I will likely be flying in from the US. We will stay in the identical hotel.
My brother has mentioned several times that his son and his family are coming to Paris, “especially to visit the uncle from America.”
Given these repeated comments, do you think that it’s needed or right for me to pay my nephew's hotel bill during his week-long visit to Paris?
And yes, I can afford it – but do I even have to?
Dear Dan: Thank you for asking a matter that’s met with a general sigh: “What a lovely problem that is.”
Your nephew and your loved ones are traveling to a family reunion that features his father (the kids's grandparent). These relations have probably frolicked together before.
I conclude that your nephew and his wife haven’t spent much (if any) time with you and that their children could have never met you.
You can imagine how excited and curious they were once they met their American uncle.
Your brother passes on this family's excitement, doesn't demand that you simply pay their bill or suggest that it is best to.
I don't read anything in your story that ought to lead you down this path, but in the event that they are in need or you must be generous in this fashion, paying their hotel bill can be a really nice thing.
Otherwise, I hope you possibly can bring just a few small gifts with you from Los Angeles, possibly take her to lunch or to a museum in Paris, and – if you happen to all get along well – invite her to go to your property and foot the bill if that’s the case you try this.
Dear Amy: “Pondering Papa” asked about single couples who sleep together while visiting their parents' house.
When my live-in boyfriend and I visited his parents a long time ago, his mother explained that while she knew we lived together and slept together, we wouldn't do it in her house: “My house, my rules.”
We all laughed about that for a few years. I still miss her!
Dear Grateful: A humorousness definitely helps.
image credit : www.mercurynews.com