DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I actually have been together for 2 years. Since the honeymoon phase, we’ve got been arguing about bedtime etiquette.
The first time I asked him if he could perhaps do this before he goes to bed, he freaked out and kicked me out of the bedroom. Since then, I've not less than gotten him to show off the lights, but he still watches videos and refuses to wear a headset or earbuds.
He stays up much later than I do, so I can't go to sleep until he's finished.
He says I'm “overly sensitive” and gets mad once I sleep on the couch. We've had huge arguments about it and I don't understand how I could be so unreasonable when all I need to do is sleep. I feel he's selfish.
Who is unreasonable and the way do I manage to get a restful sleep with such a partner?
LOVE SLEEP DEPRIVATION: You are usually not being unreasonable. Your boyfriend is controlling and reckless. Take care of yourself. Lack of sleep can’t only make an individual a dangerous driver and fewer efficient at work, but it could actually also make them sick.
If you don't live with this person full-time, consider staying overnight at their home through the week for the sake of their health. If you reside at their home, consider moving out.
If your boyfriend behaves unreasonably in other areas as well, you need to “consider rethinking the relationship.”
DEAR ABBY: I’m 42 and recently had my first baby. My brother is six years younger and has a baby who just turned one. Our mother has 4 biological grandchildren and one step-grandchild.
I do know mom loves all of them. She is a really caring and generous grandmother. But these days, each time I mention my daughter in a conversation, she mechanically starts talking about my brother's baby. I've noticed that this happens lots and my boyfriend has noticed it too.
We were at a family reunion recently and each time someone mentioned their kids or grandkids, Mom would come over and begin talking about my brother's daughter.
Don't get me incorrect, I really like my niece. But mom doesn't discuss my daughter or my sister's kids (teens) the identical way she talks about my brother's girl.
Am I incorrect to think that my mother must give attention to my baby when she is together with her? I'm uninterested in her all the time talking about my niece. My boyfriend is uninterested in it too but hasn't said anything to my mother.
I truthfully don't think she's doing it on purpose. Should I discuss it together with her or simply leave it at that?
She will not be aware that she is doing it and the effect it’s having on you.
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