PRAIRIE VILLAGE, Kansas — David Titterington had a hunch what his childhood friend was going to ask him when she led him into a photograph booth at a mutual friend's wedding a few decade ago. As the countdown to the second photo began, Jen Wilson popped the query: “Will you be my sperm donor?”
“Of course I said yes,” Titterington said. “I mean, who would have thought that as a gay man I would have the opportunity to have biological children and be part of their lives too?”
At Father's DayJen and Whitney Wilson of Kansas will pack up their three children (ages 9, 7 and three) and drive to Titterington's Missouri home for a picnic to honor the person who made their family possible. Like other LGBTQ+ couples, she and their sperm donor have developed their very own traditions around Father's Day.
“We just decided to celebrate him,” said Jen Wilson, executive director of the LGBTQ+ advocacy group Modern Family Alliance.
For LGBTQ+ people, single parents, other non-traditional families, or those with strained family relationships, Father's Day and Mother's Day may be painful and confusing. Events in school that concentrate on these holidays can result in feelings of isolation for some children. Jen Wilson said many faculties are working to turn out to be more inclusive, for instance by changing events like “Donuts with Dads” to “Donuts with Grownups.”
“There are families that don't have David, that can't really show what it means to be a father or to have a father figure. So I consider us really lucky,” Whitney Wilson said. She later added, “I think we're really lucky that we have a lot of people in our lives that we can point to. Not just David… grandfathers and uncles and all kinds of people who are fathers too.”
On Father's Day, Jen Wilson said, “People focus so much on their own dads instead of highlighting the fact that there are a lot of really great dads in a lot of different communities around the world. They're not celebrated for stepping up and… being the great dads that they are.”
Jen Wilson and Titterington have been friends since childhood. When Jen Wilson and her wife began planning a family, Titterington dismissed the thought of becoming a sperm donor, and he was overjoyed when the couple later made the request official.
Titterington sees his role in the youngsters's lives as more of a godfather than a father. He and his husband go to high school events and birthday parties, and Titterington says they see themselves as “coaches from the sidelines.” He says he's a fan of the title “biological father,” however the Wilsons say the youngsters more often consult with him as their “biological father” or “donor father.”
“I'm her father, but not really her parent,” Titterington said. “Because Jennifer and Whitney are both parents and they do a great job.”
Even for David, the considered the youngsters not having a father is difficult, says Whitney Wilson, nevertheless it is “not something that keeps anyone in our house awake at night.”
“Many people would like to tell our children how terrible it is that they don't have a father figure in their lives,” said Jen Wilson. “We know that's not true.”
“There are so many ways to be a father,” Titterington said. “On Father's Day, we celebrate all kinds of fathers.”
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