Dear readers: With wedding season just across the corner, I'm reprising my popular 2021 column covering wedding mishaps—all submitted by readers.
And if these incidents can’t be avoided, couples can try to just accept them and laugh about them later.
So sit down on the “Singles” table – and luxuriate in!
Dear Amy: My brother got married in our house in front of a bay window with a fantastic view of the Concord River.
In the center of the ceremony, his stoner friend from highschool arrived in a canoe, stumbled ashore, and wobbled up the yard in front of the guests. Hilarious setting!
Dear Amy: My ex-boyfriend invited me to accompany him.
When we got there, it was obvious that he was invited alone as there was no place card for me.
My father once said, “At a wedding, there is always someone who shouldn’t be there.” In this case, it was me!
Dear Amy: My two brothers-in-law offered to be photographers at our wedding.
My sisters had each just had their first children.
There were just a few photos of my husband and me, but most of them showed their little darlings.
The other photos showed my husband's buxom cousin in her low-cut dress. Sigh.
Dear Amy: The first song at my uncle’s second wedding: David Lee Roth’s cover of “Just a Gigolo.”
And the bride's uncle later suffered a heart attack while polka dancing.
Dear Amy: My boyfriend and his date “Sheila” were making out heavily on the dance floor. Sheila later hit on several other (married) guests after which told my mom how hot she thought the groom was.
My mom replied, “Yes, that’s my new son-in-law.”
Dear Amy: At my wedding, an unsupervised child was running around and bumped into a door. He got a nosebleed. The mother went to my father (father of the bride) to demand that the venue's wedding coordinator be fired for negligence. When my father refused, they stormed out.
(The child was tremendous, by the best way!)
Dear Amy: We shared the date we had finally selected for our wedding with our closest members of the family before booking vendors.
My parents said, “But we have tickets to the Notre Dame football game that day.”
We tried other dates, but all of them clashed together with her football ticket schedule.
We don't talk anymore.
Dear Amy: I had locked the important thing in a running limousine outside the church (back within the 80's) so I needed a phone book and the phone variety of the pastor's office to desperately try to search out a locksmith.
Dear Amy: I used to be a member of a flash mob on the reception. Short story: Another member of the mob couldn't kick as high as he thought (as a result of tight suit pants) and ended up kicking the bride in the pinnacle.
Everyone was tremendous.
Dear Amy: In my twenties, I used to be at a friend's wedding. A number of of us had rented a room together. I woke up in the midst of the night with a splitting headache and drank a glass of water.
It was a best man’s contact lens solution – and his lenses.
Dear Amy: Our rabbi thought our wedding could be at 6 p.m. Luckily, one in all our guests found a substitute rabbi who stopped by to marry us on his technique to a funeral he was officiating.
Our marriage lasted 28 years.
Dear Amy: My college roommate wanted a child-free wedding, but her family made a fuss about not having any children.
During the reception, a niece ran across the room in circles after which vomited on the rostrum on the front of the room in the course of the meal.
Dear Amy: The bride's mother caught my buddy and his companion in an ungainly position within the bridal suite (and neither of them were a part of the marriage party).
Dear Amy: My best friend's (drunk) uncle performed his wedding ceremony.
Dear Amy: In the reception line at my wedding, one in all the guests said to me, “If I had known you didn't have a nice dress, I would have lent you mine.”
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