The shine of Caeleb Dressel's seven gold medals may suggest otherwise, but he knows that swimming is usually a brutal and suffocating sport.
He is for sure probably the greatest on this planet at what he does: sprinting from one end of the pool to the opposite (and sometimes back). He holds the world record in the lads's 100-meter butterfly, having first snatched that historic title from Michael Phelps in 2019. Then Dressel beat his world record in that event on the Tokyo Olympics – where he won five gold medals in five events.
Despite every thing, Dressel was unhappy.
He was fixated on the purpose where he had failed. In one race, it was the turnaround. In one other, it was the finish. His head position. It didn't matter that he had repeatedly touched the wall first. It didn't matter that he brought home gold and helped Team USA move to the highest of the medal standings. He was chasing perfection. He was chasing times and impressive goals. He hadn't achieved them.
“I've created a monster inside of me – I'm so caught up in perfectionism,” he told former Olympians Missy Franklin and Katie Hoff on their podcast “Unfiltered Waters.” “I'm so caught up in thinking that if I'm not hitting these times, I'm a bad person or I haven't trained hard enough. If I don't hit a world record, that means… I'm not building enough obsession.”
The sport that had fascinated him as a baby since it was a lot fun was the precise opposite. And it was that way for years. But Dressel kept pushing himself and listening to his inner critic, who was tearing him to pieces.
Until he “collapsed,” as he says today. In the center of the 2022 World Championships in Budapest, he abruptly withdrew and disappeared from the game for eight months.
Dressel hasn't gone into detail about this era of his life in Gainesville, Florida, apart from to say he spent a variety of time along with his therapist. His wife, Meghan, was also there for him, although she also recognized that Dressel needed to have a variety of conversations with himself. Some days he didn't do much. Most days he avoided paths that took him past the University of Florida pool. He didn't wish to smell the chlorine.
He needed to work out who he was after his prime and what made him tick outside of the pool. He needed to re-evaluate what he thought others considered him and why they loved him. He needed to learn to smile again.
The process hasn't been easy, and progress hasn't all the time been straightforward. But that's exactly what makes Dressel, 27, who he’s today as a swimmer and an individual (and a brand new father). And that's why he's back within the pool and on his solution to Paris, considered one of the U.S. team's headliners and arguably crucial piece of the puzzle for the U.S. Swim Team in its efforts to win the competition by bringing home more gold medals than its peers. While there's pressure from the surface, inside, Dressel's biggest critic is quieter.
“It's really tough,” Dressel said last month. “It's ingrained in me — you're always looking for ways to get better. I still do that, but I don't get obsessed and so fixated on it that I lose sight of what's really fun about this sport. It's tough, and it's not like I suddenly figured it out this year. There are things I'm really proud of that I did differently, like being able to enjoy parts of the sport without beating myself up for not being perfect.
“It’s still in full swing.”
Caeleb Dressel won five gold medals on the Tokyo Olympics. But a yr later he gave up the game. It was still “an ongoing process,” he said of his return. (Tim Clayton / Corbis via Getty Images)
Dressel seems like someone who has discovered quite a bit about himself through therapy. One of the primary things he'll inform you is how helpful his regular appointments along with his therapist have been.
“I've tried not to be so fixated on results and just enjoy racing and training — those are the two parts of the sport that I really enjoy,” Dressel said. “There are parts of the sport that I really don't like, that I really hate. But it's worth it to put up with the moments that I really enjoy. It's going to be a balance; I don't expect every part of the sport to just be the best for me. But I've really focused on the parts of the sport that I enjoy.
“That's the fundamental difference for me. I've all the time loved training. I've all the time loved being with the team. I actually, really benefit from the actual competition part – once the starting gun goes off, it's just fun. So I just tried to maintain it easy swimming. Just swimming this yr.”
Dressel will only swim the 50-meter freestyle and 100-meter butterfly as individual events at the Games and will likely take part in several relays. At the US Olympic trials in Indianapolis, he finished third in the final of the 100-meter freestyle, which cost him the chance to defend his gold medal in that event in Paris.
But he is happy to be part of the Olympic team. He is proud of what he accomplished in the qualifying competitions. He is thrilled that his young son August was able to witness it all, sitting in Meghan's arms in the stands.
“Nobody can take that away from him,” Dressel said in Indianapolis. “He's not going to recollect it. I'm going to inform him, trust me, I actually have photos, so I can prove it. … That was a really special moment. Meghan knows what it takes, not only the parenting side of things, but she experiences firsthand the difficulties that include the game.”
“The tears that include it, the frustration after which the high points, and with the ability to share that with them because they're going through it too – it was really special that August was capable of experience that.”
Meghan shared a video of Dressel with baby August at the Olympic training camp in North Carolina this month, another moment captured and saved to commemorate a once-in-a-lifetime moment. They will also be in Paris, alongside Dressel's parents and family. Dressel said he wouldn't be where he is today without their support. And he certainly wouldn't be where he is without Meghan, who he calls their family's “superhero.”
Parenting is wonderful for a lot of reasons, but perhaps crucial lesson it teaches is that of perspective—especially for somebody who has spent most of their life chasing time and striving for perfection that doesn't and might't exist.
“I don't know if I'll ever set a personal best again, and that's hard to say. I really do,” Dressel said. “When you're 19, 20, 21, you keep working, keep working, keep working. I'm still working harder than ever, looking for any way I can to get those few tenths out. But I don't know. I don't know if I can do it. I'm really good at racing. If you put me in a race, I'm going to make it close, as close as possible, even if I have to try to kill myself to get there. I'm going to put myself in those situations.”
So he doesn't know exactly how Paris will go. But he does know that he’s older, wiser and really happier than he was before the last Olympics. Others see that too, and not only when he reaches over the track after a race or punches the water for joy.
“He's always had that smile,” said Katie Ledecky, a seven-time gold medalist and training partner on the University of Florida. “He took that time off and when he came back, he had that smile every day. Just seeing his progress over the last year, how he's gotten better from meet to meet – he just seems to love racing, and he probably loves training more than racing itself, and that makes everyone around him better.”
It may even make probably the greatest swimmers on this planet higher. And that's why this smile is as invaluable as gold, irrespective of what medal Dressel has hanging around his neck.
“I don't know if I'll ever get a personal best again, and that's hard to say,” said Caeleb Dressel. He'll try it in Paris starting later this month. (Maddie Meyer / Getty Images)
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